Two weeks after my business were lost in Tonga, I returned to American Samoa. All these time that I was in Tonga with my son, my husband was the continued provider for the business and our son. Stuff that was hard to find in Tonga were send from him. It was a relieved for myself to reunite with him. He was still worked as the director of Small Business Development Center. An US Federal funded department in American Samoa. Things went well to our little family for few months. We managed to help my sister Siale and my neice Mosiana to move in with us in American Samoa. I love having them with us as we have so much fun going to places and come back talking about it. Siale was enrolled into American Samoa Community College and Mosiana got accepted to one of the high school 'Samoana High' Few weeks later, we were told to send them back to Tonga and to return with their proper documents in order to attend school in the country. I reluctant to believe the story but had to do that as they said the faster they return to Tonga the faster the processing of their paper. I hate to see them going back to TongaMy relationship with my husband was so much different. I got sick alot and could not receive any support from him. Both of us could not be able to communicate well with each other without a fight. It got very nasty as it track on each day. I was frustrated about every tiny little things and often left the house just to clear my head. Everything about him is negative to me. I decided to do a test with my doctor and discovered that I was pregnant. I wasn't excited about it at all as my son William is still a baby and not even one year old yet. He wasn't excited at all either as he think that I came back pregnant from Tonga. I was ready to shoot myself when he say that.Things went from bad to worst each day. The discussing of divorce was in our household everyday. I feel sorry for William as he had no idea of what happenning in our house. One day I left for a walk and returned only to find that the doors are all locked. Things got really ugly and I decided to leave for the sake of our son and unborn baby.
Escape & Shelter!
He threat me that if I leave, I would leave alone and not with the baby 'William'. Because of my past experience, I had to play my card right this time. I contacted few lawyers to adviced me of what need to be done. A day later I map out my exit plan. It was sickenning to even think that twice now that I had to face this horrible feeling of had to escape. Not knowing whether you're going to die or alive. I called the Social Services to help me with my son but they adviced us to contact another office which they do have lawyers to help us. As soon as they said that lawyer and driver are on their way to pick us up. I ran crab my son while sleeping, bag few diapers, food, clothes for him and important documents (passports, birth certificates, check book, etc.) We crossed a little creek to the other side of the road. We followed the direction that the lawyer's office gave us. Across the road there were Chinese shop and lawyer and driver were waiting there. From there they took us to the shelter.
Our first night at the Shelter wasn't a good one. Because we have to share facility with other women and children that suffered from domesitc violence, it wasn't a great experience. I only thankful that I'm with my son and safe. I cry all night holding my son. He was confused as why we aren't home. I'm sure there were lots of question in his mind. Few weeks later we schedule to appear in court for the first time. Lots of unsolved business were going to be heard in court that day. I still got feeling for this guy and ofcourse with being pregnant with our second child made it more difficult. As I walked in the court house with my supporter he approached me and asked about our son. I almost give him a hug but I had to control my feelings and ask for divorce. Its a long story but I'll write what had happened then. Things got really ugly in the court room and I'm sure everyone who went through divorce understand how intense it is.
Its not a healthy situation and no wonder why people end up in therapy and rehab. Two selfish people who can't think of anyone but themselves. The process of divorce can have particularly damaging effects on children. I guess the hardest part was coping with the divorce while pregnant and with young child to takecare. It was very difficult emotionally and physically. Right away after left the shelter and on my own, I involved in a group called, AS Family support group. Few families whom faced difficulties or have domestic problem issues came together to support each others in time of need. It was really great and we overcome together our own problems by talked about it and find resources of how to meet our needs daily. We share information and requested help from local government and federal level. We have selected our own family and child advocate which she helped connected us with lawyers, judges and other government officials. It was really help each and everyone of us while coping with our own family issues.
The judge ruled in my favor which I got custody of my children but with every weekend with the father. First he denied that the new baby is his but then after I had the baby, it was clearly that the baby is his. After few months of the birth of our daughter, he haven't come by to visit his own children. Court demanded that he not only pay child support and spousal but to visit his own children. I didn't really care as long as he paid his share for the children.
A friend I met at a Relief Society progrom became my best friend whom she helped me alot. I can't be able to be on my two feet without her help. After a week from having our daughter, my ex-husband remarried to a lady from Ethiopia that they met online. It was very difficult for me to ever cope with all at that moment. I was totally unprepared for the consequences of life after divorce. I decided to move with the children and find life elsewhere. Unfortunately, I had to have the approval from court and from the father. Most of the time I barely made it and almost quited. Scriptures and secret prayers helped me through this difficulties. After few battle in court, I got the court order in my favor again. Few weeks later my children and myself left with no regrets. William was two years old while Lizabeth was eight months old.
