Divorce, Headache & Pregnant!

Sick & Pregnant

Two weeks after my business were lost in Tonga, I returned to American Samoa. All these time that I was in Tonga with my son, my husband was the continued provider for the business and our son. Stuff that was hard to find in Tonga were send from him. It was a relieved for myself to reunite with him. He was still worked as the director of Small Business Development Center. An US Federal funded department in American Samoa. Things went well to our little family for few months. We managed to help my sister Siale and my neice Mosiana to move in with us in American Samoa. I love having them with us as we have so much fun going to places and come back talking about it. Siale was enrolled into American Samoa Community College and Mosiana got accepted to one of the high school 'Samoana High' Few weeks later, we were told to send them back to Tonga and to return with their proper documents in order to attend school in the country. I reluctant to believe the story but had to do that as they said the faster they return to Tonga the faster the processing of their paper. I hate to see them going back to TongaMy relationship with my husband was so much different. I got sick alot and could not receive any support from him. Both of us could not be able to communicate well with each other without a fight. It got very nasty as it track on each day. I was frustrated about every tiny little things and often left the house just to clear my head. Everything about him is negative to me. I decided to do a test with my doctor and discovered that I was pregnant. I wasn't excited about it at all as my son William is still a baby and not even one year old yet. He wasn't excited at all either as he think that I came back pregnant from Tonga. I was ready to shoot myself when he say that.

Things went from bad to worst each day. The discussing of divorce was in our household everyday. I feel sorry for William as he had no idea of what happenning in our house. One day I left for a walk and returned only to find that the doors are all locked. Things got really ugly and I decided to leave for the sake of our son and unborn baby.

Escape & Shelter!

He threat me that if I leave, I would leave alone and not with the baby 'William'. Because of my past experience, I had to play my card right this time. I contacted few lawyers to adviced me of what need to be done. A day later I map out my exit plan. It was sickenning to even think that twice now that I had to face this horrible feeling of had to escape. Not knowing whether you're going to die or alive. I called the Social Services to help me with my son but they adviced us to contact another office which they do have lawyers to help us. As soon as they said that lawyer and driver are on their way to pick us up. I ran crab my son while sleeping, bag few diapers, food, clothes for him and important documents (passports, birth certificates, check book, etc.) We crossed a little creek to the other side of the road. We followed the direction that the lawyer's office gave us. Across the road there were Chinese shop and lawyer and driver were waiting there. From there they took us to the shelter.

Our first night at the Shelter wasn't a good one. Because we have to share facility with other women and children that suffered from domesitc violence, it wasn't a great experience. I only thankful that I'm with my son and safe. I cry all night holding my son. He was confused as why we aren't home. I'm sure there were lots of question in his mind. Few weeks later we schedule to appear in court for the first time. Lots of unsolved business were going to be heard in court that day. I still got feeling for this guy and ofcourse with being pregnant with our second child made it more difficult. As I walked in the court house with my supporter he approached me and asked about our son. I almost give him a hug but I had to control my feelings and ask for divorce. Its a long story but I'll write what had happened then. Things got really ugly in the court room and I'm sure everyone who went through divorce understand how intense it is.

Its not a healthy situation and no wonder why people end up in therapy and rehab. Two selfish people who can't think of anyone but themselves. The process of divorce can have particularly damaging effects on children. I guess the hardest part was coping with the divorce while pregnant and with young child to takecare. It was very difficult emotionally and physically. Right away after left the shelter and on my own, I involved in a group called, AS Family support group. Few families whom faced difficulties or have domestic problem issues came together to support each others in time of need. It was really great and we overcome together our own problems by talked about it and find resources of how to meet our needs daily. We share information and requested help from local government and federal level. We have selected our own family and child advocate which she helped connected us with lawyers, judges and other government officials. It was really help each and everyone of us while coping with our own family issues.

The judge ruled in my favor which I got custody of my children but with every weekend with the father. First he denied that the new baby is his but then after I had the baby, it was clearly that the baby is his. After few months of the birth of our daughter, he haven't come by to visit his own children. Court demanded that he not only pay child support and spousal but to visit his own children. I didn't really care as long as he paid his share for the children.

A friend I met at a Relief Society progrom became my best friend whom she helped me alot. I can't be able to be on my two feet without her help. After a week from having our daughter, my ex-husband remarried to a lady from Ethiopia that they met online. It was very difficult for me to ever cope with all at that moment. I was totally unprepared for the consequences of life after divorce. I decided to move with the children and find life elsewhere. Unfortunately, I had to have the approval from court and from the father. Most of the time I barely made it and almost quited. Scriptures and secret prayers helped me through this difficulties. After few battle in court, I got the court order in my favor again. Few weeks later my children and myself left with no regrets. William was two years old while Lizabeth was eight months old.

Lost of my Business!!

The setting up of my business was very frustrated for me as I had to move again to Tonga. Luckily that part of my family were still in Tonga to help me. Also most of my friends that we worked in the government together were still there as well. The business license, bank account and location were three main thing that I looked at on the first day. The idea of location came easy at first as my cousin owned one of the oldest building and business in town "Sanft Building". But when I got to Tonga, there was no available space there, so I had to look elsewhere. Few days later I got a location not far from my cousin's business and right in the middle of the business district in Tonga. Because it was very close to the high season in Tonga "Heilala Week" which most of tourist and relatives live overseas will be in the country. I spend no time in setting up the business. My friend and family were helping with the advertisement, sign and brochure of the business. It was an exciting event for myself and my whole family, but my father was always remind me of bless the business before it start. So, we invite few friends and family to come for the opening. I asked the Stake President to bless the business that night with refreshment afterward.

Few months after the business were fully setup. It was off to a good start with more and more customers everyday. I started to add on few other services to it. Stationeries were selling inside the business, movies were shows during business hours which is from 8:30 to 9:30pm. Kids and adults were absolutely loved it. It was clean and friendly environment. Two employees were hired to help me. One thing that I've learned while in Tonga was how Tongan people react to someone who own a business. They think that you're super rich and should give them money every week for nothing. Long relatives or I never heard of them are trying harder to clarify how you're connected to them through unlce or aunty of your great great great grandfather.... I guess I was warned before that something like that would come up. My father was the first person who always by my side to guide me through the whole operation of the business. I was truly blessed that he was still in Tonga that time. Ok..business was running smoothly as usual and few services were added to the business to accommodate the need of customers. But one thing I forgot to be more awared of, is whats happenning in the country and government.

Few months later from the openning of the business, there were political unsettled all over the country. Few members of the Parliament were so greety and wanted to change the system. I guess they watch too much TV and wanted to be famous. The idea of Political changes in Tonga were great but their intention were wrong.

Tonga in general is consider one of the development country but most of all, is world known for the friendly of its people. They all respect their king and royal families, etc. But during my time in Tonga, it wasn't very different. Few members of the Parliament were dissatisfied with the system created a Politcial group called, "Liliu" or "Change". Their idea were good but how they approach it were very different. They want to reduce the power of the Royal family and give more power to the people. They started to manipulate crazy people to start voicing their opinion and started the crazy black day in Tonga on November 16, 2006. I will never forget that day.

November 16, 2006, my youngest sister "Siale" was just arrived in Tonga, returning from her mission in Fresno, California for 18 months. I was so excited to have her work with me in the business. I won't trust anyone more than my own sister. Went to work that day and open the business as usual. My sister came to meet me in the business and while we were talking, we heard noisy outside. Few minutes later, people were all over the street, swearing, throwing rocks at the businesses, turning cars on the street upside down. Burning and looting occured as they continued to do that all businesses in town. I left that day not knowing what will happen. I let all customers leave the business and then close up the business for the day. Taking nothing but my purse with money of the day hoping to return to normal business day the next day.

There were smokes everywhere that day, people went crazy and looting were non-stop. Women and children to men of all ages were looting from local businesses. Most of the businesses were owned by Chinese people or foreigners. I haven't seen anything like that before and never in my wildest dream to ever think that Tonga, the smallest tiny country on the map would do such a horrible thing like that. All other business who managed to hired securities to guarded their business were safe. I kept myself far away from the business as I was afraid of what might happen to me and my son. It was the craziest day that I ever experience in my entire life.

Few days later, I got an approval from the Military to go in for inspection of my business. And to my surprise I found nothing but ashes. I drop down crying inside my business as I just lost everything. I lost my passport, my son's passport and few other very important documents of mine. All the pictures of my trip to Australia, New Zealand, Hawaii to my sister's graduation, etc were all turned into ashes. I feel like I shouldn't be living anymore. I don't know why these crazy dumn people don't just come and burn myself inside my business. Few lives were dead that day in different businesses. I hate the Tongan people, eventhough I am one. I promise to leave this country and never to return.

William first trip at 4mnths old!!! 2006

In May of 2006, William and myself went to Tonga for his christenning and to setup a business. It was hard at first to live far away from my husband but have to do it. On the other hand, I was extremely grateful to be back with my family. The business was great as it provides internet access, computer training. It also help lots of local people find jobs, etc.

Life in American Samoa

Living in the United States for awhile and coming here to American Samoa was a huge shift in my life style. I was independant and had my own car, do everything by myself.
It was a big different from the States. The weather wasn't friendly either and my new man wasn't so all that I thought. Ok..he was alright. The only thing I don't like about him is his temper and jealousy. I'm not allowed to be outside alone, etc. Our differences were too much and I regret even leave the States and my apartment, job, friends and most of all my sister. We use to talk on the phone forever on the weekend or everyday.

American Samoa itself were wonderful place to live. Eventhough I was raised up in the south pacific, this moved to American Samoa is no longer excited for me. I was ready to head back the same day I arrived. People are very friendly but I did not like the wet weather all year around and the geikos. I was terrified of it and frogs.

I started to occuppied my time in helping business owners in training as well as setting up their Quikbooks system. I tried hard to fit in. I got a job in the Business Center as a Technology Assistant and Business Instructor. Even I've tried hard to do much but something still missing in my life as the indepedentant lifestyle I used to.

It was definitely causing problems in our marriage. I regrets lot of things in my life but I wanted to fight to save my marriage.

The first little bunny!!

William Herbert Thweatt was born on Dec. 13, 2005. He was 8lb and 21" long. We were both grateful for our healthy little boy. Things went really well in our household. Healthy baby and mother.
I like being a mom, so I can focus solely on my baby. I had fun reading and sing to him. We watched lots of movies and reading Harry Porter, along with other kids books.

My husband and I decided to setup a business in Tonga so we can save it for William's future. I was very happy to return home and be with my family. Most of my sisters lived overseas but my parents were still in the island along with my two brothers and their family. We started collectting our materials and gather all information of how to establish a business in Tonga.

We were very lucky as I was employed in Tonga for about 7 years in the ministry. We have a saying in Tonga that everything would be so much easier if you know someone is that office. I contacted few friends at work and send them our business plan. Few days later we have our business license. My father was a big helped as well.

William was fun to be around. He accompanied me when I was sorking with small business owners in setting up their accounts system. He was a good baby and always made me laugh.

When teaching classes at the business center, William was staying home with his father. After all his middle name was from his father. His first name was from my grandfather Wilhelm as William in English. Few things that he loves to do beside sleeping and eating was reading and watch movies.

Here are few snaps of William's life in the islands, both in Tonga and American Samoa.

Each picture tells a story....

Two photos at the bottom were taken in New Zealand during the christmas of 2007 with my sister and her family.

"Love is Blind" 2004

I've been solo for awhile and just got out of a very abusive and violent relationship. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever meet someone nice or they're all like animals. Its like every girls wildest dream to meet their Prince charming and he would rescue from the high tower. He will swept you off your feet and you both fall in love forever. Not to say live happily ever after. I wasn't like that. I just want someone to stand by me, and not to step over me. Someone to hold me when I'm falling and not to push me, etc.

I went online chatting with people but they turned out to be the same. I took a trip to LA one day and ran into a man at the business meeting. Well, not that I was involved in the meeting but like they said, "If you go to church, you will find a handsome Priest to marry"...."If you go to sports you would find an atheletes guy"..."if you go to a business meeting you would run into a crazy businessman"...well I took that advice. Don't ask me who?? maybe one of the book I read but I don't read those books anymore. Ok..here it goes...

It was a business meeting for south pacific small businesses. Ok, I was qualify to be in it. I met this tall black man. He wasn't that good looking but he seems to be nice and smart. Well, it was crazy but true, on our first dinner together at the hotel, he asked me to marry him. "Wow," I thought. This is really crazy but he seems like a gentleman and I think he will take good care of me. Not that I wanted someone to take care of me but it would be nice to find someone that will love you forever, love you for always, for as long as we shall live he will always be mine. Ok..another crazy girls dream...no propose without the bling bling. I pause for awhile for two main reasons. First, he probably out of his suit or second, I don't see a bling bling and he wasn't on his knee. But I said yes in one condition, he must buy me a diamond ring to officially seal the deal or I would say yes with a big BUT.

Second date we were planning to cruise around the Santa Monica bay with dinner and dancing. The ferry was schedule to leave at 7pm that evening and I was there earlier waiting. "Where is that crazy man" I said to myself. People are start boarding and I was still there waiting with my white suit. Few people left to be boarded and he finally showed up. I don't know whether I would hit him or bunch him. Ok..I saw him with a rose and a little jewellery bag. Hehehe I'm fine, but he better not showed up with something from the $2 store. As the boat left the dock..he pick up the box from the bag and kneel down oh no...he sat down on the chair right next to me and hold my hand up. He put the ring on my fingure and ask me again to marry him. OK..with one eye on the ring. It was big dazzling diamond..."Ok" I said. The rest were history. After three months later we got marry in Honolulu, Hawaii in a very private ceremony with my jean and white shirt on. Few days later I moved to American Samoa with him.

American Samoa is one of the US territories but the Samoan Islands are exactly in the center of Polynesia, the complex of Pacific islands lying in a triangle delimited by Hawaii, New Zealand, and the Easter Island. The local people speak samoan with english are their second language. I enjoyed my time in American Samoa which I taught business accounting to small business owners.